Editing Reinhold Klegg

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So, Reggie Klegg, Reinhold if you like it auf Deutsch, Sandrunner, the guy who jogged out of the Sahara to brighten up our lives. Well, sort of. Not much fun at a party, but he throws a great physical. Starts you off with a trippy fMRI, lighting up in all the wrong places, especially if you get him to play with a knife or a blade. Follows up with a hot, hot, hot core body temperature. Like, permanent fever sort of deal, and still metabolism on the low side. Go figure. Blood’s a traffic jam of oval erythrocytes. Long loops of Henle in the kidneys… hell, our man can probably drink saltwater. Plenty of neat little details that make him the resilient bastard he is. It’s like evolution took another sniff at Reg and then decided to go all Jackson Pollock on his ass. And then covered up its tracks, cause his mtDNA’s vanilla homo sapiens sapiens.
 
So, Reggie Klegg, Reinhold if you like it auf Deutsch, Sandrunner, the guy who jogged out of the Sahara to brighten up our lives. Well, sort of. Not much fun at a party, but he throws a great physical. Starts you off with a trippy fMRI, lighting up in all the wrong places, especially if you get him to play with a knife or a blade. Follows up with a hot, hot, hot core body temperature. Like, permanent fever sort of deal, and still metabolism on the low side. Go figure. Blood’s a traffic jam of oval erythrocytes. Long loops of Henle in the kidneys… hell, our man can probably drink saltwater. Plenty of neat little details that make him the resilient bastard he is. It’s like evolution took another sniff at Reg and then decided to go all Jackson Pollock on his ass. And then covered up its tracks, cause his mtDNA’s vanilla homo sapiens sapiens.
 
   
 
   
So, he ain’t a missing link. What he is, is what we call an open question. There’s his little alien prison story, which is a crock of shit, but he believes it, and a man’s got to believe something to be any use. A run-of-the-mill so-called-secret bionic soldier programme would be an easy bet, but nix on that. We checked. I mean, we ''checked''. Anyway, whatever. The bees wanted a piece of it. He got buzzed sometime in 2012. Went pretty subtle, apparently, or else no one paid too much attention. Few months later, we found him working security for Médecins Sans Frontières and flying planes out of El Aaioun. Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone loves wiping orphan noses and jabbing polio shots, really, but talk about missing the forest for the trees - this was missing the forest for the texture of the bark.  
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So, he ain’t a missing link. What he is, is what we call an open question. There’s his little alien prison story, which is a crock of shit, but he believes it, and a man’s got to believe something to be any use. A run-of-the-mill so-called-secret bionic soldier programme would be an easy bet, but nix on that. We checked. I mean, we [i]checked[/i]. Anyway, whatever. The bees wanted a piece of it. He got buzzed sometime in 2012. Went pretty subtle, apparently, or else no one paid too much attention. Few months later, we found him working security for Médecins Sans Frontières and flying planes out of El Aaioun. Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone loves wiping orphan noses and jabbing polio shots, really, but talk about missing the forest for the trees - this was missing the forest for the texture of the bark.  
 
   
 
   
 
So, we made sure to paint him blue, just in case. Frankly, I’m surprised the Templars didn’t get to him first. Come on, zero sense of fun and a bleeding heart? That’s their sweet spot right there. Just the type to fall for some bastion-of-salvation-against-the-dark story. What we promised him was a little more personal. A shot at figuring himself out and a shot at going back to wherever he thinks he belongs. The moon. Alpha Centauri. Dragonfly 44. Whatever. It’s working. When he found that Heidelberg birth certificate we threw together for him, it made him so happy it brought a tear to my eye.
 
So, we made sure to paint him blue, just in case. Frankly, I’m surprised the Templars didn’t get to him first. Come on, zero sense of fun and a bleeding heart? That’s their sweet spot right there. Just the type to fall for some bastion-of-salvation-against-the-dark story. What we promised him was a little more personal. A shot at figuring himself out and a shot at going back to wherever he thinks he belongs. The moon. Alpha Centauri. Dragonfly 44. Whatever. It’s working. When he found that Heidelberg birth certificate we threw together for him, it made him so happy it brought a tear to my eye.

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