Difference between revisions of "Eda Demir"
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Interview Date: March 2nd, 2015 | Interview Date: March 2nd, 2015 | ||
Location: [REDACTED] | Location: [REDACTED] | ||
| − | + | Interviewer: Tanner, Sam | |
| + | Interviewee: Demir, Eda | ||
| + | Tanner: Hello, Ms. Demir.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Aw, come on! Why be so proper? Call me Eda.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: No.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Uuuugh. Fiiine.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: So, Ms. Demir. We got your...resume, as you can clearly tell.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Do you really have to knock me out AND put a bag over my head?<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Yes.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Little overkill, isn't it?<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: No. Now, tell me, how did you access our equipment?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: You guys have a zero day bug.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Really?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Yeah. Idiots that think 'password' qualifies as a good default password on a wifi enabled coffee maker.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Are you telling me you accessed our equipment through a-<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Yup! You guys are a tough nut to crack, you know that? It took me, like, eight months to finally crack your stuff. In the end...it was the coffee maker that was your demise.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: How did you access our servers through a coffee maker, Ms. Demir?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Easy. The coffee maker was automatically connecting to the old wifi built into that office building you guys fortified. Once I had access to the coffee maker, I implanted a virus that would steal the network password for the super secret secure password protected network. Was smooth sailing from there.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: How long ago was that?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Two months.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Why...did it take you two months to reach out to us, exactly?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: 'cause I wanted to know who I was reaching out to! I wanted to monitor the monitors. See who was sealing the town off from the rest of the world. Maybe figure out what was going on. I joked around with myself that it was totally Illuminati confirmed...go figure, turns out it was.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: What do you know exactly?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Enough to know I wasn't getting out of that hell hole any time soon unless I backed the right horse.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: And you think we are the horse worth backing then?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: I saw the messages from your dudes on the ground talking about the other possibilities...choices were archaic snobs, crazy Asians, and toothless morons that you're using to keep the other assholes from getting too close.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: And you consider what you found reliable?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: No. It's just a LITTLE bit biased? I used you guys to sneak into the other dudes on site. The uh...Council or whatever. But even then, most of what I got is from your guys and of course they're going to think everyone else sucks.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: We prefer not hiring people without...incentive to join. From the sounds of it, you don't even want to join us.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: I don't. I don't want to join any of you. But I don't really have a choice, do I? I have to back someone and, surprise, the Illuminati are the ones I have the most faith in.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Faith to do what?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Deliver. Actually get shit done. I dunno, I have a pretty non-existent view of whatever crazy world I've just walked into here.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Hmn. Well. You are certainly qualified...could use training, of course, but you are most definitely showing potential. I do, however, want to ensure you realize that joining us is a one way street.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: You can't quit the Illuminati once you're one of them? NOOOOO! I would have never guessed! Let's be real here, Tanner. I poked the bear with a giant stick. You guys are going to hire me or kill me.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Correct.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: At least you're honest.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Why lie? I'd say all of the cards are on the table at this point.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: The cards you're willing to show me, anyway.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Correct.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Well, so long as you guys keep me entertained and blowing physical and digital shit up? Consider me interested.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: I'll contact my superiors to send the necessary paperwork. Ms. Demir, they will most likely expect you to undergo some therapy.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Hahaha! Therapy? What for? I'm fiiine.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: ...Ms. Demir, our records indicate you were living with your parents.<br> | ||
| + | Demir: And?<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Where are they exactly?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: I told you. I don't need therapy.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: They aren't in any of the strongholds, are they?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: Drop it, Tanner.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Where are we going to find their bodies, Ms. Demir--<br> | ||
| + | Demir: I SAID DROP IT YOU LITTLE BITCH!<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: ...as I said. You will be undergoing therapy. Any questions, Ms. Demir?<br> | ||
| + | Demir: ...no.<br> | ||
| + | Tanner: Good. Interview terminated at 0900.<br> | ||
=• Known Associates/Affiliations •= | =• Known Associates/Affiliations •= | ||